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I Tried to Build an App…Now I’m in a Full Existential Spiral

Choosing My Old App…and Accidentally Rebuilding a Whole Product

So, I graduated in April 2025 with a glowing average of 95.8% (yes, mom, I know, why not A++? Just kidding) from UofT Continuing Studies – Software Development BootCamp, and instead of coding immediately like I probably should have, I sat there like:

Hmm… what is life?

What apps do I want to make?

What jobs do I actually want?

What does any of this MEAN?

Do I actually want to keep coding or maybe I should touch grass?

I can just continue with sticking as a multi-genre writer on the side and living life…but do I want just that?

Thus, I ended up writing down A TON of app ideas, and they were great…I guess. However, because I don’t know how to be normal, each idea became a fully fleshed-out blueprint with steps, flows, research, and probably a whole PhD thesis attached (why am I like this? Oh right, Asian parents).

So last week, I finally said to myself:

CYRL. FOR THE LOVE THAT IS ALL HOLY. PICK ONE.

Just choose an old project and improve it.

BE NORMAL FOR ONCE.

So I did.

I opened GitLab and decided to make a switch from Github.

I made the repo.

I sat down to plan the folder structure and suddenly my brain goes:

Wait. What is the PURPOSE of this app?

Why does it exist?

Who is the user?

What problem does it solve?!

WHY IS ANYTHING ANYTHING???

Next thing I know, I’m doing:

  • Planning
  • Research
  • Diagrams
  • User flows
  • Documentation
  • Design theory
  • AND CRYING…oh lots of it before writing a single line of code.

And the worst part?

I realized this is actually the correct software development process.

Coding is 10%.

Planning (and suffering) is 90%.

I could just throw together a simple CRUD app.

I really could. I always have done that, but that defeats the purpose of redoing my old apps.

I’m not “practicing” anymore. I’m building an actual, potential product.

Or maybe I’ve gone mad.

Honestly, both are equally likely.

Anyway, this blog series will be my descent into madness as I rebuild my old app into a fully documented, research-backed, corporate-structure-analyzed, workflow-justified Employee Tracker Version 2 (Gitlab link here).

Welcome to the chaos…but hey! You are here because you are either:

  1. A recruiter who decided to check out my resume (thank you!); or
  2. One of my few readers that wanted to check up on me; or
  3. A fellow newbie that need to experience a parasocial relationship with someone who is equally spiralling (and probably fighting with AI just because).

Anyhow, I’ll be crying in the corner with my Notion docs…if my adult schedule allows, of course (juggling a full time clinic job on top of everything else is definitely a feat).

P.S. Once my Notion Documentation is somewhat…more comprehensible and not just gibberish sorcery that was whipped up at 3 am, I will gladly share it in public.


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